Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My life is pants optional.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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