shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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