I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize