So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
