What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
