even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
