I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Can i not drive my cunt home
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
