we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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