how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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