We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
try to milk me bitch
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