have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
