did you get engaged???
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
