OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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