I'd wear matching sweaters with you
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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