I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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