He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
