You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
