so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
