She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
