If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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