yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
