I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
they need to just BURY HIM!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
