Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
