Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
