we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
