they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
