Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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