I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize