THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
