I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
