if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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