Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
