go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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