Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
