What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize