Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
