hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
