He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
