What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
