weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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