I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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