Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
