Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize