you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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