Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize