I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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