standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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