You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
