It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
