i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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