Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
