I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
