The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
