it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
