you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize