I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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