Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
