I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
