I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
