Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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