i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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