just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
