Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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